Dear Sister

Pleasant Surprise from last weekends SNL. Gotta love Imogen Heap's epic lyricism/mumbo jumbo.

Birds explode!

Today on my way into work this morning I saw a bird explode!

I was driving behind some dumb whore in a Lexus SUV, and I saw a bird swoop in from the sky and nail it in the windshield!
The bird exploded in a huge spray of feathers, similar to when Randy Johnson drilled a bird with a 96 MPH fastball back in the day.
It was awesome! The dumb bitch in the car, after realizing what happened, swerved about 5 seconds after the impact, then moved like 8 MPH until we made it to the next intersection. At the stoplight, the dim-witted sack of ovaries used about half of her tank of window washer fluid trying to get bird parts off her car, but all that did was make all the little feathers stick all up in her shit. I was yelling at the time out the window how fucking awesome that was, but I dont think she heard me.

Tenacious D - Pick Of Destiny

You could stop watching the movie after this point. But its awesome.

Hoodrat, Hoodrat, Hoochie Mama

I'd like to deeply thank my office-mate Snoop for introducing me to 2 Live Crew and their genius lyricism.
A heart-felt exerpt from their hit "Hoochie Mama":

[Verse 2: Fresh Kid Ice]
Hoe I love your big brown eyes
And the way you shake your thighs
Actin' like you're so damn cute
Let a real nigga just knock them boots
I don't need no confrontation
All I want is an ejaculation
'Cause I like them ghetto hoochies
Ones who like to pop that coochie
[Hoo wee!] Miami style!
Makin niggas smile, bitch get wild
'Cause freaky shit is what I like
and I love to see two bitches dyke
My favorite time is 69
Bitch you know it's hoochie time
Fuck what you heard and save the drama
All I want is my hoochie mama!

Beautiful.

It wasn't me, I swear

Twenty year old college sophomore John Harrison suffered a terrible shock over the weekend when he discovered that his long-time cyber girlfriend was actually a male in disguise. His girlfriend, who plays under the guise of Chelxai a night elf priest on the Emerald Dream roleplaying-PvP server in World of Warcraft, couldn't be reached for comment as of press time.

http://www.dailygaming.net/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=8

"early reports indicate that Harrison wasn't aware of the massive wang his girlfriend sported at any time during the courtship."

Ah, stories like these bring me back.

Come back with my dog, monkey

That is all.

RED RED WINE - (LIVE)

I was perusing YouTube on a typical monday evening after 3 Irish car bombs and a few beers, and after typing in "Redhead making out" into the search field, I came across this video. Instead of watchin a flame headed ho' making out with another chick, I enjoyed a nice Live performance of UB40. Such luck!